The Anger of Death
I have been having a pretty bad week and deep down I know why. I told a co-worker the other day that I felt like a fist fight with someone would do me good. He kinda laughed but stopped when he realized I was pretty serious. As I have come to grips with my fathers death and all of trauma associated with it I understand that part of the mourning process is anger. I got a bit out of my system yesterday by going to the gym and beating up on a punching bag for about thirty minutes was nice to let the stress go but it was probably better than screaming at someone for no reason.
Deep in my heart I know he is in a better place but man it sure does not make it any easier here. Every person goes through this at some point and I guess I need to be happy that I had 42 wonderful years to know him and build my character from his influence and guidance.
It's kinda weird people ask me all the time how I get everything done that I get done. It's pretty simple I come from a family that knows how to work more than it knows how to play. I am easily frustrated with people who appear or are lazy. I also was raised with the understanding that nothing in this life comes easy generally everything is a challenge. I also realize that at some point this Anger phase will pass but the Irish comes out in me even now and I am still pretty mad about loosing him. I guess thats my way of dealing with it so if you run into me and I give you the stare you better move along quickly :)
